


Monologue: Karen and Frank in the diner.

by YourBonesShallCrackBeneathMyHeel



Series: Shut-up and Smile a Kastle series [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Netflix original
Genre: Awesome Karen Page, BAMF Karen Page, Episode: s2e11, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Frank Castle doesn't know shit, Frank thinks Karen has a crush on him, Heart-to-Heart, Karen Page Knows Matt is Daredevil, Kastle ♥️, Mild Language, Or maybe daddy issues, Past Matt Murdock/Karen Page, Something there that wasn't there before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24355576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourBonesShallCrackBeneathMyHeel/pseuds/YourBonesShallCrackBeneathMyHeel
Summary: The monologue I think Karen should have gotten before "three guys walk into a dinner for the last time."
Relationships: Frank Castle & Karen Page, Frank Castle/Karen Page
Series: Shut-up and Smile a Kastle series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761031
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dose he do that... Lie to you?

  
  
  


"Umm... Yeah. He's got issues. It's complicated, like most people. Hard person to get to know. I just think that inside he's..."

"You love him, right?"

"You can't know that."

"I'm sorry, can't know what?"

"You can't..."

"Come on. We're in court, all that shit going on it's all over your face. You can't hide that. You love him."

"I might have... feelings for Matt Murdock, but it's just a swirl, it's a lot of things. Like... ingredients. It's not love. He's the kind of man that hurts people. Not like you, but... he damages them. Breaks them."

"Sorry, is that supposed to mean something?"

"So those are the people that you get out of your life."

"Is that right? Look, I might be generally considered out of my skull, so this might not mean much, but this could be the craziest, most batshit thing I've ever heard in my life. People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and... and... and tear you apart, and make you feel like you're never gonna recover. Shit, I'd... I... I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn't just break my heart. She... she'd rip it out, she'd tear it apart, she'd step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she'll never hurt me again. You see, I'll never feel that. You sit here and you're all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?" 

Karen nods though her thoughtful expression hardens. Her voice is soft and even as she answers him."Your wife, was she in love with you? Its obvious you loved her. But you can't… you can't make someone love you."

Karen's eyes catch Frank's for a moment before turning downward to her cup again. 

"You can't forgive them until they finally decide you're worthy of the truth, til they decide you deserve to be treated right. And You can't trust them until they finally keep their word, until they are suddenly trustworthy. People treat you exactly how you let them treat you. I don't- I can't live like this, not anymore. So no, I'm not confused about  _ him…" _

She looks at him, or rather in him. She's not asking him to understand, she's pulling something from inside him.

"I'm confused about my actions. Why didn't I tell him I knew he was the man in the black mask.

She laughs a little, it's not bitter, it's flat and sad, just like her smile.

"Uh yeah! I know he's the devil of Hell's Kitchen."

There is a certain amount of pleading in her voice with the next words she says to go with that said smile.

"Come'on, Frank! I'm not dumb, blonde or otherwise. It's actually kinda funny.  _ Hey Matt, I had no idea it was you! Must have been cause I couldn't see your eyes and forehead! _ Maybe I self-sabotaged, maybe knowing the truth and not calling bullshit is the same as lying- I…" 

Her voice is beginning to shake

"I've never pretended to know you, no more than you've offered. Sure I've been neck deep in your past, somewhere between the fictions and facts, but I know that doesn't mean that I know you. You're- like I said, you've never lied to me. So because I am privileged to know more than I have a right to about you, I'll share the truth about my recent past with you. Over the last two years I have been drugged and famed for murder. While in jail for that murder charge I was strangled, nearly to death by a police officer with a sheet, so it would look like I hung myself. I only survived because I gouged one of his eyes. I've been blown up twice, held at gunpoint on several more occasions, shot at, once it was you. And don't give me any shit about hitting what you aime at. It was a shotgun of Christ sake!" 

Her eyes narrow, warning him not to interrupt, though there is a glint of humor in the brief sparkle in her eyes.

"... I've also been beaten _unconscious_..." Frank's fingers twitch, the way she says that, beaten wasn't emphasized, she's been hit on enough she can categorize the experience as exceptional. "I took a Taurus 9 mil from the man that kidnapped me and threatened me and everything I ever cared about… and… and I shot him... seven times in the chest. I chose my gun, because- because I liked the feel of the 380 compared to the 9 mil." 

She swallowed thickly before taking a deep but ragged breath.

"And none of that,  _ NONE _ of that was my "first rodeo". And after all that... this doesn't get easier, and- even though a part of me wishes it would, I hope to God it never does. But… In the moment… when... when I chose to survive, when I chose to live and protect the people that  _ I love,  _ to act in  _ their _ names… Those few seconds- I felt complete clarity." 

Frank is in awe of the beautiful and harrowing emotions painted on her angelic face.

"It's living with yourself after, carrying it with you when it's over… I wanna' believe I can have a life when it is  _ over _ ." Karen scoffs, and it's heartbreaking.

"I might even be worthy of one. It's hard to tell when it bleeds into everything else. So please believe me, when I say this. I know you're worthy, more than worthy! No! Let me finish, because I'm not just saying that. It's not because if you deserve a life, if you get to go on I'm somehow automatically absolved me of…" She stops when her voice begins to tremble harder.

"Karen, if it isn't Murdock, who is it?"

"O my God!" Karen snorts in a sob, her laughter is the dark side of hysterical. "That's what you get out of everything I said?" 

"Why else would you be saying all this." It's a statement not a question. Suddenly, completely sober of both laughter and tears she answers him, blues eyes burning into his, cutting him deeper than he thought he could ever feel again.

"No one should ever chase that kind of moment, that kind of clarity. But I have, and you are. It may be a byproduct of what you do, I know you feel it, there's no way you couldn't. No one will ever receive any kind of justice if that's what this becomes about. Chasing it, that feeling- is the worst kind of sickness. You have a choice, a chance, there is still so much good in you. That's the truth. No bullshit! I'll never lie to you, as long as you don't lie to me. Maybe even if you do. Isn't that fucked up! At least you'd deserve it, another chance. You're nothing like Matt, at least when you're being an asshole you own up to it." He can't stop himself from believing her, praying for the first time, somewhere in an aching corner of his heart that redemption is attainable. He squashes it down deep, curb stomping the destination for his mission.

"Speaking of me being an asshole. You need to get the waitress and any other staff back there, and you get' em down under the biggest piece a' stainless steel back there and don't come out no matter what! No matter what you hear. You got it?"

"What? Why, what's going on?"

….

  
  
  



	2. I wasn't expecting that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen laughs. She laughs harder than she has while sober in years! She managed to tell Matt she'll be back, well hopefully he understood, in-between, and around the laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a Preview

"Okay, so you're a super, or powered, or a mutant like the X-men, or whatever the politically correct term is. Is there a difference? Like levels?" Matt wasn't sure what to expect, but it wasn't that.

"Umm, I don't really know. I'm not sure how I would compare to anyone else who is gifted. As far as I know, only one other person like me, the man who trained me, he was blind from birth.

" I had guessed whatever your abilities were, are- that they compensate for your blindness-" Matt's heart skipped a beat.

"You said guessed-"

"Wasn't that hard… hiding only half of your face? You didn't even do the whole Christian Bale "I'm Batman" thing." Giving her best growling impression of her second favorite Batman actor. "Oh my God! Foggy  _ does _ know right!?" She looked like she might punch him if he answered incorrectly.

"Yeah, ah-he, just kinda, he saw me hurt and helped me."

"But he hasn't known for long." Matt nods yes even though it wasn't a question.

"Can you tell when people nod?"

"Yes." She huffed lightly, rolling her eyes.

"I wasn't sure if Foggy knew. He changed... His excuses were getting pretty lame. He'd- he would cover for you, automatically, when typically he'd have questioned or complained about it… What else do you want to tell me." That wasn't a question either, it was a demand. "Don't look at me like that Matt,  _ you  _ need this, not me!"

She was right, so right it shook him. It was hard to get a read on her emotions, she was vibrating with an energy that he could only describe as righteous indignation.

_ How could she have known? How could she not!  _

_ Who else knew?  _

_ Why didn't she say something? _

_ You never said anything! _

"Why don't you tell me what you know and I'll fill in the blanks?"

"That's not how this is going to work.Tell me everything and then,  _ only then _ ! I  _ might _ tell you what I know. Maybe how I found out, and maybe something's you don't even know." She then quickly adds "... I wouldn't bother saying this, but you obviously doubt my intelligence, and you clearly aren't as smart as you think you are. So, to be safe, remember! I know some of the answers! You fuck with me and I walk!"

Matt was having trouble reading her emotions, if it was bravado from being hurt or if she was angry and annoyed.

_ Frank Castle!  _ Karen's Aura of energy had been shifting _ , _ he would have thought he was in a room with Castle. The world blazed hotter, the edges jagged but more solid near that man.  _ How could she have become so angry and damaged- No, a lot of Karen is there too. But that-  _

To Matt's discomfort it meant…  _ Frank Castle was a good person too, or was able to be under all the rage and wrath. Am I that different? Who really was the better man? _

_ This city needs heros, and you're not one of them. _

_ " _ Are you reading my mind? Is that- Christ I'm gonna…"

"No! NO! Nothing like that. The rest of my senses are very heightened. I was just thinking, remembering… Outside of the court house the end of the trial-"

"Yeah I thought that might have tipped you off. I meant it then, maybe you'll change my mind, though I don't see how."

"...ouch..." Matt said softly

"Yeah, guess it's a slap in the face now, if it wasn't then..."

Matt thought he had prepared for this discussion but Karen was in complete control. Which was fine, he just wished she'd stop asking questions while being so dismissive. "Let's- let's say for the cerebral part of my brain, we just clean the slate… forget the baggage we share. Tell me how your powers work"

Though her voice and body posture were relaxing gradually, and the speed of her pacing lessened as she spun on her heel, she did continue to pace. Matt was sure she was using the constant movement as a way to keep him from entering a very large personal bubble that she wished to maintain… 


End file.
